with her。
She was established in this stretch of life； she had e to
herself。 During her first marriage； she had not existed； except
through him； he was the substance and she the shadow running at
his feet。 She was very glad she had e to her own self。 She
was grateful to Brangwen。 She reached out to him in gratitude；
into death。
In her heart she felt a vague tenderness and pity for her
first husband； who had been her lord。 He was so wrong when he
died。 She could not bear it； that he had never lived； never
really bee himself。 And he had been her lord！ Strange； it all
had been！ Why had he been her lord？ He seemed now so far off； so
without bearing on her。
〃Which did you； grandmother？〃
〃What？〃
〃Like best。〃
〃I liked them both。 I married the first when I was quite a
girl。 Then I loved your grandfather when I was a woman。 There is
a difference。〃
They were silent for a time。
〃Did you cry when my first grandfather died？〃 the child
asked。
Lydia Brangwen rocked herself on the bed； thinking aloud。
〃When we came to England； he hardly ever spoke； he was too
much concerned to take any notice of anybody。 He grew thinner
and thinner； till his cheeks were hollow and his mouth stuck
out。 He wasn't handsome any more。 I knew he couldn't bear being
beaten； I thought everything was lost in the world。 Only